I used to say “No” like a reflex—quick, polite, and proud of my boundaries.
Until one day, at 50, I realized I’d built a life that felt safe…, but far too confined.
Healthy Work Life Boundaries
As a professional educator, I was continually tasked with deciding which activities were to become a part of my daily flow, and which ones were to be sent down the long and dusty trail of no return.
Balance and flow became my true north and all decisions around participation were based upon a cost/benefit analysis formed around three simple, yet powerful questions:
Does my participation add pleasure or pain to my daily routine?
Is any part of my life sacrificed by saying “Yes” to participating?
What are the two most prominent feelings around participation?
By the time I had answered all three questions, I was crystal clear about whether or not I would be saying “Yes” to another committee, field trip, after school activity, or yet another endless, soul-sucking meeting.
You know the sort.
The ones that guarantee inspiration and end up draining the life out of your afternoon, one slow minute at a time.
Treasured Time
Time. That treasured and sacred gold piece we yearn and covet with reckless abandon.
So much of life comes down to one sacred thing: time.
Down time. Game time. Me time. Never-enough time.
And the most elusive of all—time for what matters most.
So, I learned to savor each minute like a sacred gem, only sharing what earned my highest praise and suffering greatly when moments were consumed without being backed by interest or passion.
Because let’s face it, sometimes in life, we simply must show up, get the job done, and how you feel about being present simply doesn’t play a part in getting ‘er done.
I learned these wise words from The Mama during my youthful days of wandering the planet like an open sieve—collecting pearls of wisdom whenever they landed on my doorstep or collided with me like a thundering moon rock hurled toward the sun. Getting 'er done was imprinted on my largest brain cell, where it happily resides to this day.
When “No” Steals Passion Away
Until I realized, “No” had become nestled at the very core of my passionate being, and my personal mantra had morphed—and closing doors became a way of being.
Not only did I gladly decline, my entire being would fold into a jigsaw puzzle of despair when learning about an up-and-coming potluck, an evening out on the town, or anything that threatened to steal away my blissful routine of comfort and knowing.
Transformative Choices
And I knew something needed to change.
From the vantage point of a butterfly on the window ledge, life was humming along beautifully.
Family ~ Work ~ Friendships ~ Travel ~ Vacations ~ Repeat
And it was enough. For a very long time.
Until it wasn’t.
A deep ache started from within, growing more present with time, until I at long last began seeking ways to fill a hole that was elusive, yet fully present and crying out for attention.
One mid-December afternoon, at age 45, I was strolling arm in arm with my husband through a decorated and bustling mall. We sauntered past a music store and I casually whispered, “Someday, I’m going to learn to play the guitar and the banjo.” My husband made a quick u-turn and encouraged me to gaze upon the Washburn guitars strung like holiday lights upon the whitewashed wall.
Even though I was unaware at the time, this marked the beginning of a monumental shift in the foundation of my well-being—and I was about to be catapulted into an undiscovered galaxy.
Passion arrived on colorful waves of joy and I played that guitar until my fingers were calloused and filled with the knowing of song and heart.
And that was the beginning of leaning in to the power of yes.
Life-Changing Decision
At the age of 50, I made a declaration that I would now embrace the word “Yes” as a personal mantra, and keep it close to my ways of being in the world.
My first opportunity arose in the form of a week-long guitar camp along the shores of a lake in the Pacific Northwest. Spending a week away from home seemed daunting, and I tried backing out several times.
I began to understand that new beginnings were hard, and needed gentle and tender encouragement.
Three things helped guide me toward new ways of living—and they've remained steady rays of light in my personal growth.
I have learned the importance of:
Surrounding yourself with those who lift you up and believe in your journey and your dreams.
Saying “yes” once a day can transform your life—gently leading you toward open doors and softened patterns.
When you find someone who truly sees you, hold them close—you can become each other’s beacon of hope when doubt comes calling.
And guitar camp?
It changed my life in ways I never could have imagined.
I discovered there were entire worlds spinning beyond my sphere that were filled with passion, grace, comfort, friendship, and community beyond my wildest imagination.
Patterns of YES
And then one “Yes” led to another, and the lessons therein have been paved with both tender jewels and deep heartache, because every time we say “Yes,” it’s a commitment of the heart, soul, and beyond.
“Yes” to spending countless moments with The Mama as she’s nearing the end of her life’s journey.
“Yes” to learning the banjo during the pandemic to save a soul from withering.
“Yes” to the children, all the children, mine, yours, each and every one.
“Yes” to the health heartaches that land like thunder and consume every waking moment.
“Yes” to the moments that carry us to our highest and best selves—and all the ones in between.
And here I am in my third month on Substack, which has been a Yes of EPIC dimensions and the place where this post started with a simple note to all of you:
“Yes”—I’m here to read that one post that makes your heart sing.
“Yes”—I’m here to savor life’s most precious moments, with you.
“Yes”—I’m learning every step of the way, and curious about what comes next.
“Yes”—I hope you’ll reach out and share your deepest truths.
“Yes”—I wish you infinite moments of peace, joy, and light on your journey.
May your day unfold on waves of hope,
Riding high upon the infinite joys of...
YES!
And now, at age 59, I’m pausing to remember all the love, beauty, discoveries, and relationships that were born of one single, yet deeply powerful word: yes.
So, the next time a door opens—before the doubts rush in—pause.
Breathe.
And ask yourself: What might happen if I said yes?
You never know…
It just might change your life.
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Wishing you peace, light, and meaning in your journey.
Let’s keep lifting each other up, one small act at a time.
With love and gratitude,
Lis at Savor Life Studio 💖
This post is public, so feel free to restack and share. Thank you! 💖
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Yes to your change...
Yes...!!!
My best wishes 🙏👍
What might happen? I love this!