Yesterday morning, I was humming along in my usual blissful Substack state of mind when—WHAMMO! My first rejection message landed with herculean force.
It was thoughtful, well-crafted, genuine, and articulate. I’ll call this person R for ease in the retelling.
R kindly let me know the following:
Not interested in “Sub for Sub”
Not interested in trading emails
No hard feelings if I wished to unsubscribe
Sent “Nothing but love”
After the initial robotic pangs of YOU HAVE BEEN REJECTED, I settled into processing what these words meant.
It’s true—I’ve been shamelessly sending out little “6x6” notes with information about myself: I love music, writing, and anything else that makes a heart and body dance.
Being new to Substack, I truly believed this was a good way to find:
– Community
– My tribe
– My people
– Like-minded kindred spirits
And it worked! Until yesterday.
Thankfully, I’ve had the good fortune of working with a wise, sage-like counselor over the past several years. Her voice echoed in my heart:
“This is not about you, Lis… it’s about what R needs and wants.”
And that was enough.
After honoring R’s needs, I circled back to my own. I asked myself:
What do I want from my time on Substack?
And here’s what keeps blinking through in brilliant neon lights of passion and exuberance:
COMMUNITY ~ COMMUNITY ~ COMMUNITY
What matters NOT:
– Your age
– Your demographics
– Your resume
– Your niche
– Your subscriber count
– (Even what you had for breakfast, although I’ll listen if it’s interesting!)
What matters MOST:
– Your heart
– Your voice
– Your story
– Your presence
– Your struggles
– Your words
– Your passions
And in the end, it’s the beatings and rumblings within our deepest chambers that link my heart to yours.
Not stats. Not labels. Just presence. Your voice. And the courage to be seen.
At a very young age, I learned something important:
Humans are quick to judge, and one must learn to breathe light and love around the varied and passionate opinions of others—whether they align with your persona or not.
So often, the words that make us feel like judgment day has arrived…
Have nothing to do with us.
Last night, I took a break from reaching out on Substack to reflect.
And here’s what I know:
My journey is my own.
Not everyone will appreciate or understand my reasons for reaching out—and that’s okay.
I start from zero.
If one person connects with the energy and words I’m offering the universe, my heart is full.
In just a few short weeks, I’ve received the gifts of connection, conversation, and kindness beyond my wildest dreams.
Rather than waiting to be found, I’ll keep sending sparks of love and trust the universe to work its magic.
Life is short.
I’m getting older.
And the metronome keeps ticking.
I’ll be back again tonight, reaching out to beautiful humans whose words resonated deeply and who may or may not wish to build something meaningful together.
Either way, it’s enough.
I’d like to give a heartfelt shout-out to Substack R,
who helped me take another step along this exciting and ever-unfolding journey —
into the inner workings of life and what matters most.
Our exchange was deeply meaningful.
With gratitude 💖
Thanks so much, Lis, for your post! 🙏These are exactly the words we all need sometimes. By the way, I’m interested in a sub-for-sub. 😃Just subed you. I finally got 'the courage to be seen!'
What a lovely piece of writing, you are so right and so balanced. And you are right, you really wouldn't be interested in me having porridge for breakfast.