70 Hours a Week on Screens? What My 6th Graders Taught Me About Children and Technology
A Classroom Conversation That Revealed the Hidden Cost of Screen Time for Families
What happens when 11-year-olds calculate their own screen time?
“Children between the ages of ________ should be allowed to engage in _____ hours of technology every day to ensure healthy and active lives.”
This was the prompt I posed every year to my 6th graders, generally 11 to 12 years old, during our unit on technology use and digital balance.
The responses were comical, staggering, sobering, and sometimes flat-out shocking.
How Much Screen Time Are Children Really Consuming?
Most students estimated between 25 and 50 hours per week of screen time. A few proudly claimed 70 to 90 hours in a single week.
Seventy to ninety hours!
I had to do the math to see if that was even possible:
Sleep: 56 hours
School: 35 hours
Total: 91 hours
Remaining time for family, friendships, hobbies, activities, meals, homework, and technology: 77 hours
Yes, 70–90 hours of tech time in a week is possible, especially if a youngster is not getting their required daily amount of sleep.
The Socratic Seminar
After reflection, research, and countless discussions, the unit culminated in a Socratic Seminar, loosely based on the Socratic method. Students focus on rigorous, question-based dialogue to uncover truth while analyzing assumptions and contradictions.
This was always the most joyous part of the unit. I was handed the gift of observing rather than participating.
Leaders were appointed, generally students looking for extra points. Half of my class would sit in the outer circle and observe the inner circle discussion, which covered:
Recommended daily tech hours for 11–12-year-olds
Benefits of technology use
Downfalls of technology use
Health concerns
Should parents set limits on technology use?
Technology was defined as:
Video games
YouTube
Any social media platform
Texting
Movies
Not included:
Homework requiring electronic devices
Music streaming
Digital art and animation
Music creation and production
Once the seminar began, discussions were interesting, revealing, and startling.
Parents and Technology Use: What Is Appropriate?
One seminar will stay with me forever. A preteen said:
“Well, what about my parents? They are on their phones all the time and hardly ever pay attention to me.”
Whoa. That comment opened the floodgates. I became the quiet observer of a full-on therapy session, where preteens shared the pain of feeling ignored due to parental engagement with technology.
This session highlighted that humans of all ages struggle to find balance between tech use and the daily rhythms of family, school, and work.
Are Children Addicted to Technology?
I have witnessed children who seemed unable to remain present for a full 50-minute class period, frequently asking to step out to use the restroom and returning after checking their phones or playing games.
Addiction is defined as: being addicted to a particular substance, thing, or activity.
I am not a doctor, but I have seen children experience negative emotional impacts when technology is removed from their routines.
“Video game addiction, also called internet gaming disorder, is characterized by severely reduced control over gaming habits, resulting in negative impacts on daily functioning… While millions of people play video games, only a small percentage develop video game addiction.”
For more insight, The Vigilant Fox in the post titled, The Unsettling Brain Impact of Screen Time in Kids explains:
White matter acts as the brain’s wiring system, helping communication between regions.
Deficits in myelin production early in life = deficits in neural connectivity.
More screen time = greater loss of white matter.
Screens also rewire dopamine in developing brains, making moderation essential.
Restoration, not stimulation, is the way out.
Why Screen Time and Digital Balance Matter for Families
Technology is here to stay. Rather than resist, we must find healthy ways to create balance for ourselves and children.
Children are always watching and learning from adults. How we engage with technology matters.
Ask yourself:
How many hours do I spend using technology each day or week?
Multiply your weekly average by 52 weeks—what is the total for the year?
Example: 5 hours a day = 1,820 hours a year. Whoa!
Do I spend equal time socializing, dreaming, creating as I do with technology?
If I am around children, do they have my full focus, or am I distracted?
Tiny shifts can lead to big gains.
Taking Positive Steps
With 34 years of experience in education and decades of parenting, here are my humble suggestions for creating a balanced and healthy lifestyle.
If you are still navigating tech use with your children, do not be fearful of setting limits. This may be one of the biggest parenting challenges you face, and my entire heart goes out to every single parent navigating this realm.
Parents, be united. Be brave. Be fearless.
When co-parenting, it is extremely helpful if both parents are on the same page about the role technology will play in the family. Establish mutually agreed-upon guidelines and patterns within your household.
One thing is certain when it comes to technology use: children want it. You guide it. And the struggle is real.
My best advice: Sit down with your children and have a candid, age-appropriate discussion about the benefits and downfalls of tech use. Then, with light and love, create and share your guidelines. Most importantly, stick to them.
I have seen countless children pull out the bargaining chip to regain that blissful tech buzz in their lives.
You must be firm.
You must be steadfast.
You must be consistent.
Additional Practical Suggestions
Practice phone-free listening. Intentional attention is one of the greatest gifts you can give.
No phones during meals. One small change can dramatically improve family interaction.
Use conversation starter decks for lighthearted discussions during meal time.
Device-free time in nature builds presence (even if photography is tempting).
Closing Thoughts
If you are over 45, you likely remember a time when we:
Spent most of our free time outside, because that was where childhood unfolded.
Figured things out on our own when problems arose, stretching our resilience in the process.
Ate dinner together most nights, engaged in conversation rather than devices.
Enjoyed sleepovers filled with creativity, connection, and laughter. No notifications. No glowing screens. Just us.
Because technology is here to stay, we must lead by example and give ourselves grace to try, fail, and try again.
One device-free meal. One uninterrupted conversation. One walk without a screen.
Savored moments are the sparks that light our paths. We get to choose the direction, content, and rhythm of our journeys.
And our children are watching.
Wishing you peace, light, and love as you travel forth.
With love and gratitude always,
Lis 💖💖💖
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