This Connection Seemed Real Until It Wasn't

A five-month Substack conversation and the moment trust was lost

It all began with such innocence. A quiet direct message filled with gracious light, which I promptly ignored. My general rule within cyber security is to blissfully ignore private direct messages from unknown senders.

And so I did. Ignore. Over the course of several days (perhaps weeks) three more kind, heart-filled direct messages landed in my inbox. And eventually the hook landed, I swallowed the bait, and the dance was on.

The Long Game ~ Patience and Empathy Lead the Way

Over the next five months (Yes, five!), a gentle, interesting, and heartwarming conversation ensued with Substacker X.

Questions were intermingled with good wishes, and over time, I learned:

• X worked in the medical field

• Has a relative with a very serious health condition

• Is trying hard to find more peace within work/life balance

And on and on…

Every step of the way, there were thin, tender strands of doubt watching from afar, begging to be fed and nurtured along the way.

Is he really who he says he is?

How come he rarely talks about himself?

Why does he never talk about his profession?

The correspondence lit up with mountains of grace and soul-filling wishes. Substack “Likes” were handed out like Halloween candy, and the bond was secured.

When Doubt Comes Knocking

Somewhere along the way, doubts crept into the cracks of our correspondence, and I went seeking answers.

I crossed over to Facebook and discovered that X was using his last name as his first name, and he was cross-posting the very same messages on both platforms. Not unusual, but it let me know I had found the same person.

On both Facebook and Substack, there were no photographs of X, only restacked photos of art, flowers, and the occasional small nod to something medical.

It all seemed legitimate, but something was missing. Actually, everything was missing.

*No personal photos
*No real-life experiences
*Nothing that screamed, this is who I am!

When AI Sneaks in the Back Door

I began to notice that X’s messages sounded quite a bit like my voice. With over three decades in the literary realm, I noticed his word patterns were much like my own.

Similar phrasing
No mistakes within his messages, ever!
Always rephrasing and parroting back with deep and soul-filling empathy.

I could almost feel his fingers typing out the prompt to ChatGPT:

“Respond to the following message (copy and pasted my words) with empathy, compassion, and grace, and add in that I enjoy piano, need more time for rest, and hope to work less over the next couple of months.”

And then hitting “Send.”

What makes this scenario so frightening is that technological advances have amplified and enabled the hack.

Now, it is easier than ever to impersonate, imitate, and emulate our fellow human creators.

Here’s What You Need to Know

We have entered a new era in which time is no longer of the essence. This is not like the days of yore when someone would receive an urgent phone call asking for cash to bail out a distant relative.

This scam arrives in soft, gentle hues, walking along a sandy shore, with patience dialed high.

No rush
No fury
No fire

Just simple, grace-filled moments of peace, light, and love carried on wings of tender compassion, in the form of caring words and sentences. And then one day, it arrives, and your entire being freezes.

When the Big Ask FINALLY Arrives

In my most recent correspondence, I had mentioned to X that I would be leaving town to meet with my dear friend.

When his message arrived, and my eyes scanned his mammoth-sized betrayal, my entire being tensed, and dread and disappointment seeped into every crevice.

I was in my studio loft and called out to my husband:

“How disappointing! There goes a Substack relationship down the tubes.”

X told me there was something he needed to ask, but didn’t feel entirely comfortable doing so, along with the following information:

*Finances were stretched thin
*Hoping I might be able to offer a bit of support
*No expectations or pressure

And there it was. X’s words, in black-and-white print, sliding off the page and into my heart, carrying enormous doses of empathy and compassion.

Yet, the only thing pulsating through my overwhelmed brain was the words:

Misled
Misguided
Misaligned
Misunderstanding
and ultimately, MISTRUST.

I kept thinking to myself, “WHO DOES THAT?”

Inner Turmoil, and Listening to Gentle Intuition

Every ounce of my being told me his gentle ask for funds was not okay, today, tomorrow, ever. And so, I gave myself a time-out to think about next steps.

When you are a person who shares light and love with the world and believes in the goodness within every single human being, a situation such as this requires careful consideration.

When Clarity Comes Knocking

Once settled into my hotel room, it became clear that I had one of three options:

1. Explain my feelings of discomfort and disappointment to X, and continue corresponding.

2. Explain my feelings of discomfort and disappointment to X, and say, “Farewell.”

3. Block X forever and cut off all communication.

In recent years, I found myself in situations where I felt compelled to explain myself to loved ones when I was not behaving in ways they found acceptable.

These situations led me down a long, harrowing path that eventually brought clarity, freedom, and light in giant doses to my life. I learned the following:

1. I never have to explain myself to anyone, unless I choose to do so.

2. When someone shows you their true selves, believe every action and word.

3. Without trust, there is no relationship.

And so, it became clear that X was no longer going to be a part of my Substack experience, or my life, and I blocked him that very evening.

In one click of a key, five months of communication was gone, severed and spiraling into the dark cyberspace abyss of nothingness and no return.

Why Tell the Story

I share this story with you in the most sincere hope that you never, ever find yourself in a similar situation, and if you do, you will see it for what it is before it ever takes flight within your heart.

I’ve spent decades navigating life behind a computer screen, and I’m very comfortable within the technological realm. Yet, this knowledge did not keep me from getting my heartstrings pulled, tangled, and eventually spiraling into a terminal free fall.

As for X, I wish him the very best in life. Most importantly, I hope he finds new and healthier ways to relate to humans and learns that transactional relationships often lack deep emotional intimacy and do not align mind, body, and spirit in ways that are soul-filling and life-sustaining.

Top Security Reminders for Substack Users

Substack often feels like stepping into a garden of decadence, steeped with light, love, knowledge, and beauty dialed high.

I have been reminded:

• Keep a cautious eye toward the unknown
  Pay attention to anything that feels off or inconsistent.

• Protect your inbox and trust your instincts
  Avoid engaging immediately with unsolicited messages.

• Verify identities across platforms
  Check profiles and content for consistency across different sites.

• Be wary of financial or personal requests
  Never send money or sensitive information to someone you only know online.

I will never know if X’s words were all true, partially true, or completely fabricated. Ultimately, it doesn’t matter.

For I will always remember how his final missive made me feel, and that, in the end, carried more weight than 10,000 shared pathways.

Steady on, and may you be the light that ignites countless flames soaring toward their highest and most profound destiny.

With much love and gratitude,

Lis 💖💖💖

Photo Credits:
Cover Image: Daniel Stanitzki ~ Unsplash

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